I just spent a week aboard Aprilia’s Dorsoduro, a bike with all the subtlety and finesse of a two-wheeled Terminator; a machine so OTT, so irresistibly anti-social you feel naughty just heading to the dairy on it.

On the showroom floor it looked like my sort of bike; a kind of supermotard on steroids, all frame and jacked up seat and aggression, with the upright riding position and wide bars that so suit the bendy road on which I live. A first blip of the throttle suggested it’d sound like my sort of bike too – rude and rorty and assertive.

There was just one small problem. The mighty Dorsoduro’s seat sits 870mm above terra-firma which makes it a bit of a stretch for my 166cm, even with the rear suspension softened as far as it’d go so it would sink as I mounted.

But undaunted by the manly chuckles of the beanpole who tweaked that Sachs suspender and handed over the key, I stretched my toes to brush the ground, fired her up, twitched the throttle - and smacked straight into next week.

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Talk about revolution. Subaru’s last XV was a major disappointment. It looked like an ageing Impreza and felt like one too, assuming extra-long springs gaffer-taped to the originals. The idea was good, but exceuted with such lack of flair it left a bad taste in the mouth.

So I approached this one with more than a bit of scepticism despite the intriguing invitation that involved SAS dog-tags, a wicked-looking knife and a compass all tucked into what appeared to be a bomb-proof suitcase.

This XV is still based on an Impreza platform, but it’s a new one. The look is much stronger, more sculptural – more resolved. Indeed whole thing is well tied together, from its assured on-road handling, to the way drive flies from wheel to wheel according to traction while letting you access a little slip-n-slide on gravel before the ESP reels you in, so you can have a play.

The handsome cabin feels reasonably spacious too.

Subaru’s taken a mighty pounding in the last year. The tsunami sent it staggering to the ropes. But if this car’s anything to go by the stream of new models in the wings will be worth waiting for.

Talk about busy – took the hairy-chested Aprilia Dorsoduro to the dentist so at least something about the day would deliver pleasure; found bags of torque delivered on-off style and big fat rear tyre which made for sphincter-tightening slides, so resorted to a more sedate riding style that let me better appreciate the fantastically shouty soundtrack.

Quick latte at Extract next to Kumeu’s VTNZ to lift my post-dentist mood and was bailed up by a man on crutches, who gave up motorcycling for that safer sport, horse riding, and therefore has a broken leg…

Both he and the barista were highly entertained by my efforts to touch down given the Dorsoduro’s height and my lack of it.

Whizz home, fix holes in driveway, start phone interviews, check diary – eek, due in the city, an hour away, to collect a Ford Mondeo and haven’t yet photographed the Toyota Hilux currently parked in the drive!

Head to the Far North for the Subaru XV launch tomorrow, so tight on time, but ho hum – best throw some tidy clothes on and head out again.

Just handed the BMW 650i back. Tried to delay return while I worked out how to extract the superb Bang & Olufsen sound system from the car without BMW noticing it. There are a few complications to removal, not least the presence of 16 speakers set around the car, including two basses and seven tweeters each with individual amplifiers.

I reckon the mid-range speaker with its tweeter lens that rises from the dash-top when you start the car could be replaced by a margerine container spray-painted silver, and radio service could at a pinch be supplied by a cheap wireless set-up tucked into a hole vacated by some of the B&O equipment. But the other speakers and wiring proved a tad difficult, even with my trusty screwdriver set.